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Email Brian Bilbrey

Orb Grafitti is sometimes a conversation, sometimes a soapbox. I use Linux most often, and I write about that and related software frequently. I also have a day job working as a dogsbody for a small manufacturing firm here in the SF Bay Area. Tom Syroid and I have co-authored a Linux Book. It was cancelled by $LARGE_PUBLISHER, so we're posting it online, here and here. Have a looksee! I'm glad you've come to visit, and always happy to hear from you.

EMAIL - I publish email sometimes. If you send me an email and you want privacy or anonymity, please say so, I'll pay attention to your wishes.

Some days it just doesn't pay to open the email.

Good morning. The weekend was full, just not with all the bits that I had planned for it. Last night, I couldn't sleep to save myself. Now I can definitely feel it. ::sigh:: So I'll simply go water the garden and head into work. Catch you later...

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Good morning. Already at work, but only putting in a half-day today. I think I'll reserve a full-on post until this afternoon sometime. Thanks for your patience with me, folks...

To put a finer point on it, there are several concurrent, on-going situations, mostly professional (rather than personal) that needed some tending to recently. While none of them have achieved complete resolution, I am much clearer in my stance, relative to each.

First, to the situation regarding my current employment status. I have been of two minds (some less kind soul just muttered, "At least!" and right indeed he is...) on the matter. First, I've been through enough unstable times in my life, mostly self-inflicted by attempting to achieve better living through modern chemistry. That journey doesn't work, as the headlines show us every day. But unlike so many other people, I came out the other side of that dark vale, whole and sane (mostly <grin>) - I am looking to stay that way, thank you very much.

So anything that upsets my apple cart is likely to receive a lot of close personal scrutiny from yours truly, with the intent of either righting the tipping wagon, or abandoning the hulk for a new set of wheels.

On the flip side, I am strongly a man of my word. I spent a fair share of years lying about my behaviour to myself, to family and to friends - that cost me greatly ... greatly. One of the deals I made with myself is that I see a thing through to the finish, good, bad or indifferent.

How do these apply in the circumstance of employment, you ask? They are in conflict: I am not content in my current situation, yet to consider leaving for another position has me feeling like a heel. It is not impossible that that particular apple cart could not proceed without my presence. That by itself is one factor, but there's more - I owe these people a debt. They trusted me and my judgement when few in their right minds would have. There were no guarantees that I was well and truly free of my demons.

Gripping hand, what am I to do? That's a good question. I think the answer is that I don't shirk my duty. And I see my duty is, today, to stand ready to help as this ship brests the waves and fights through the shoals.

If things go further downhill, or fail altogether, then I must re-evaluate, of course. But to stretch this analogy almost beyond recognition, I am a strong swimmer. If the ship goes down, I'll find a patch of dry ground and pick up where I left off, better and stronger for having done what I think is right.

I ran this schtick past Marcia last night, and while she doesn't necessarily agree with my course of action, she understands my need to be who and what I am. And thank you for hearing me out - Usually I just stump for Linux and various bits of tech-toy stuff here, but every once in a long while real life needs must intrude. Again, thanks!

I did say there were several situations, didn't I? Well, that was the largest of them. What I might do in the middle and long term regarding writing for fun and profit is yet another interesting question - one which has been much on my mind of late. I've got proposals in on a pair of tutorials for IBM DevWorks. We'll see what comes of that. Additionally, it's tricky to tell what's going on in the book market. Right now, according to informed sources, it's a bloodbath. OTOH, this corporate writing gig could develop into something career-oriented. Time will tell.

Lastly, I have been less than productive when I comes to doing the HTML conversion for The Linux Book that Tom and Brian Wrote. It's not like I don't want to, but I've been busy, interested in lots of things, and frankly, it's not paying work, so it gets done in its own time. That said, I feel bad about it, as it's well progressed, with only about 6 chapters left to do, and I know that at least 6 of you really appreciate what we've done, and a somewhat larger number are finding the material to be of use. And while the "appreciation" is nice, knowing that the material that we worked so long and hard on is actually of service to you is a great reply to the downer of the book's cancellation. So I will finish the conversion, then do a set of HTML to PDF conversions for those of you that like to print stuff, or have e-book reader stuff that handles PDF. So, there you go.

With that, I'll now try to finish tackling Chapter 17, which is so close to done I can almost taste it. When I do, I'll announce it here, and on my Orb Designs Talkabout mailing list. Catch you later - take care!

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Good morning. Welcome to the middle of the week. After much hair-tearing and formatting grief, Chapter 17, on User Commands (basic Klingon, John) is on the wire complete. I thought at first that all my time was being eaten by the formatting. But this is a huge chapter - only 12 pictures, but 203K of HTML file, 75K bigger than the next largest chapter file. Whew. 5 chapters and a couple of appendices remain, then the conversion will be complete.

I found some space in myself yesterday to get clear about my current situation, goals and such - if you didn't catch it, please do - link here. Oh, and I don't think I mentioned. Fruit is ripening on the tomato plants. By next week, we should have enough fresh tomatoes to have some every day for the rest of the summer. Excellent, and a good early start. I'll get some snaps up tonight.

Now to prepare for work. Y'all have a lovely day - see you later.

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It's already 75 out, and only 6:30 am - looks like another scorcher. Yesterday it was nearly 100 out, and well over that inside. Hard to get a single darn thing done in this heat. You'll have to excuse me, please.

Anyhow, good morning. Not a lot going on at the moment - having challenges with Gryphon the Acer Travelmate. Just isn't working right, and I have yet to fathom why. I know, I know, I just put Mandrake on it, and for what seemed like good reason. I wanted to be working on Garcia and Gryphon in the same environment. May have been a bad choice, so I am headed back to Debian with Gryphon. We'll see how it goes. New kernel goes on today.

I'll try to update you later in the day if I have the gumption and energy. Meantime, stay cool and out of the direct sun. TTFN.

I was right. It is dang-dang miserable hot today again. Theoretically, the temps are going to drop from now through the weekend. And miserable as I am, I feel for those poor souls who live in the central valley (like the Bowman's - Dan and Shelley) who are suffering through temperatures 10 to 15 degrees above our highs. And Shelley doesn't take well to heat. Think popsicle, Shel...

My lovely and loving Marcia made some wonderful pizza tonight on Boboli crusts. Too much food for hot weather (any food is too much for me in hot weather), but so good I ate anyway. Now all I want to do is sleep off the half a pepperoni and green pepper pie that I managed to cope with... <grin>. At this rate, if it cools significantly tomorrow, then our date night might be consumed ... napping.

Lots of Linux news about, from Red Hat turning a profit (way, guys and gals) to GCC 3.0 release, and KDE 2.2 in code freeze. But those are all far from home. I have been (as I noted previously) having real difficulty with making Mandrake 8.0 settle down properly on Gryphon the Acer Laptop. So last night, I rsync'd my home directory over to Garcia, then wiped him down to bare metal, and went back to Debian. Right now I've got a blend of Testing and Unstable, which seems... more stable, somehow, and faster than Mandrakes configuration as well. Im running the 2.4.5 kernel, Alsa 0.9.0 beta 4 for sound, XFree 4.0.3 and KDE 2.1.2. No anti-aliasing until I take it up to XFree 4.1.0, which adds the render support for the ATI Rage64 Pro Mobility chipset living in Gryphon.

Now to find something else to take my mind off this stinking heat. Take it low and slow, my friends. See you tomorrow.

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Good morning and Happy Friday. Unfortunately, it stayed quite hot until very late. I am really, really looking forward to a good solid night's sleep one day soon. The good news is that it appears to have cooled a bit more over night than on the previous couple of mornings. Now it's only about ... mmmm, the balcony thermometer reads 68. Quite a bit cooler than this time yesterday. Fog must be somewhere nearby - the Bay Area's air conditioning.

On the .plan for tonight is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Greg Lincoln (who finally has another post up) says it was really good. And isn't it fun to be following Tom on some more AIX adventures. Living vicariously with good friends who somehow manage to latch onto high-end server iron is FUN! Hey, if you haven't, go check out Dr. K and Wendy's new digs. Yeah, it looks like they need a little elbow grease, but what the heck - what lovely land to be living on. Marvelous.

Well... I suppose I ought to water the poor droopy plants again. In this heat, it's been morning, afternoon and late evening drinks for them. The heat has really gotten the tomato factories churning - I will definitely have a couple of pictures up for you later. Meantime, have a lovely day!

17:05 - Okey-Dokey. Home at last, car washed and cleaned up a bit, for a good reason to be revealed shortly. Then I performed the afternoon watering of the garden after taking a few pictures for you, as requested and promised. Here they are:

As you can see from the above, the herbs are doing nicely, and the tomatoes are frankly spectacular. No, I don't grow tomatoes for contests or for the relaxing purpose of having a garden for it's own sake, though both those reasons are admirable. Instead, I grow tomatoes and such because of the flavor. Compared to the forced warehouse ripening in an ethylene-nitrogen atmosphere, these taste like TOMATOES!!! That is, they taste marvelous. Going back to store bought in late fall is always a letdown. Fortunately, that is months away, and the yummy season is just starting.

Now to start thinking about supper. Oh, wait - good news. The temperatures are definitely down from earlier in the week - I am actually not sweating at the moment. How... nice! OK. Supper is going to be pork loin chops, a little home-brew Pesto over Penne pasta, and a huge bowl of lightly steamed broccoli. Sounds like a winner to me - I'd best get to it. Have a lovely evening.

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Good morning and happy weekend to you. For this moment, I think it's actually weekend everywhere on the planet (except in those nasty places where fun isn't allowed). OK, from one of the mailing lists I live on, fun with TimeZones. Unfortunately, this doesn't work on Linux, but it does on AIX <grin>...

[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> echo $TZ
CST6

[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> date
Sat Jun 23 10:22:21 CST 2001

[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> export TZ=CST300
[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> date
Mon Jun 11 04:22:41 CST 2001

[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> export TZ=Twi3000000Lite
[bilbrey]/home/bilbrey> date
Fri Jun 12 06:20:03 Lite 1931

In the first line, I can see that Hydras lives in Central Standard Time, which is UCT -6. Yes, the positive numbers are negative, and the negative numbers are positive, in this context. Since no CDT is specified, we know that Daylight Savings Time apparently doesn't apply in Saskatoon. Hmmm. So I enter the date command, and now we know the time in the Syroid household. Very nice. Now for the fun.

By changing the TZ variable to CST300, I am telling the date routines to subtract 300 hours from UCT (as returned by the system clock), and return that as the correct date and time. Thus, it is now Monday, nearly two weeks ago. Heh. Let's set the timezone for ... the Twilight Zone... Oooooh. There, it's 1931. <grin, again>. Finally, though you don't see it, I logout. That's fine, since the TZ setting I was mucking about with was local to my current login session. All done with date fun.

I got a nice long letter from Chuck Waggoner this morning in belated response to my Tuesday afternoon post about my professional life. I've read this a couple of times, and now I'll share it with you...

Subject: Your Tuesday Post
From: "Chuck Waggoner"
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2001 10:42:03 -0400

  I'm a little behind in my reading this week, and just
now got to your Tuesday entry.  Although we have exchanged
only a few emails over the years, I can't help but respond
to that post.  I hope this doesn't come across as
preachy--but rather, as just somebody who has faced
similar circumstances and wants to contribute a
perspective, with the hope it will be helpful.

  My business for over half-a-career has been television.
Worked on Siskel & Ebert's PBS show, back when it was
brand-new, and a lot of others you may have seen.  You
will probably think my description of TV work is a lot
different than your situation--and perhaps it is.  In TV,
one is only as good as your last project.  That phrase
"what have you done for me lately" originated in movies
and TV, I'm pretty sure, because we hear it frequently
from our bosses--really!

  And I doubt that there's a soul in TV who hasn't had to
find new work--been fired and tossed out--for something
that REALLY was not their fault:  I'm one.  It gives a
whole new meaning to the word loyalty, after that has
happened to you just once.  It certainly makes one think
hard about what one owes to their employer--regardless of
what you think they have given to you.  Their attitudes
can change OVERNIGHT, for reasons beyond your control, and
when opportunities are passed up along the way,--when that
overnight comes,--it can add up to a regretful thing.

  But my main point is about what loyalty is.

  Long ago, I arrived at the conclusion that my loyalty
had to begin with me taking care of myself.  For if I were
not physically well, financially sound, and relatively
happy, there is NO WAY I could really be of help to anyone
else in this world.  In fact, I probably would be a drain
on others in the workplace and elsewhere.

  Now, I know that this sounds selfish.  But there's a
book I stumbled across in my early twenties (I'm early
50's, now) that thoroughly convinced me--with argument
after argument--that a person is the absolute best help to
his neighbor, when actively and carefully pursuing his own
self-interests.

  That book is "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" by
Harry Browne.  You probably know Browne as the Libertarian
candidate for President.  Last I looked, the book was
still in print.

  I don't agree with Browne on everything in the
book--some of his arguments involving certain moral
principles I do not share--but that book completely
changed my perspective on what I must do, in order to be
the best help to my fellow man.  It also gave me clues
about what I should expect to get from, and give to, the
workplace.

  Also, over the course of my working life, I've been sent
to a GREAT many time-management/priority-setting seminars
and classes.  By far, the best help I've ever come across
is from Stephen Covey--and it's NOT the "7 Habits" book.
Instead, I have found the book entitled "First Things
First" is a far better, clearer, and more advanced
explanation of his philosophy and principles than any of
the other books.  And "First Things First" summarizes the
other books, so a reader doesn't miss anything by not
reading the others (I've read them all).

  I don't know what is the right course for anyone else to
follow, but I do know for myself that if a job doesn't
meet the test of allowing me to be physically well (60
hours a week doesn't cut that), financially sound, and
relatively happy, then I've got to move on.  And I have
done that.

  Once I worked at a PBS station in Minnesota.  It
actually was the best place I have ever worked:  best
environment, best equipment, most supportive management,
good co-worker talent in every area.  But it did not pay
me competitively, and I laid awake nights trying to figure
out how to pay the bills.

  That's when I knew I had to move on, and the move ended
up being to Chicago for the Siskel & Ebert gig.  Wasn't
the best equipment, and management was sure NOT as
supportive as Minnesota, but I was content with that move
and with the job, and I know my contribution was stronger
for having that triumvirate of self-needs taken care of.

  Hope this is some help.  Not many people I have come
across can understand how something that seems so
selfish--pursuing one's own self-interests--can actually
be the best help to others, but believe me, Browne's
explanations make it crystal-clear.

--All the best, Chuck Waggoner, Boston

Chuck -

Thanks for the thoughtful and cogent response to my Tuesday 6/19 
post. I certainly don't intend that my answer be right for anyone 
but me, right here and now. You make a number of valid points, and I
agree in principle with most of what you say. But it didn't feel 
right for me, right now.

Having come to the conclusion that I did, I *do* feel better. 
Doesn't mean that I won't have to rethink this again in another 4 
weeks, but I have a basis for evaluation now. I will go pick up a 
copy of _First Things First_ and _How I Found ..._ and give them a 
read.

Again, thanks for taking the time to share your viewpoint. You 
stated your perspective in a way that lets me see how I might apply
the arguments the next time I have this internal conversation... 
*grin*

Take care,

.brian

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A semi-intentional day off - I never got around to posting.

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Visit the rest of the DAYNOTES GANG, a collection of bright minds and sharp wits. Really, I don't know why they tolerate me <grin>. My personal inspiration for these pages is Dr. Jerry Pournelle. I am also indebted to Bob Thompson and Tom Syroid for their patience, guidance and feedback. Of course, I am sustained by and beholden to my lovely wife, Marcia. You can find her online too, at http://www.dutchgirl.net/. Thanks for dropping by.

All Content Copyright © 1999-2001 Brian P. Bilbrey.